Gary Calls

Gary Bettman called today to talk about my big idea for the new Blue Jackets uniforms coming next season. Let me tell you, he really pissed me off. He mentioned something about the NHL By-Laws prohibiting the team from putting my image on the front. I said Gary, who is the Hockey Visionary here in Columbus anyway? Gary says Doug, I know that you are deeply respected by the fans in Columbus and that McConnell still thinks you invented hockey, but you can't put your picture on the uniforms and that is final!

So I guess I am going to have to re-consider the other idea that features the finest spuds from PEI. They are a delicacy that everyone should have at their dinner table everyday. I get a fresh shipment flown directly in from Summerside as soon as David Ling digs them out. Linger will bitch about the hard work and the red dirt, but he still has an NHL contract with me, so has to earn the money. Anyway, instead of that stupid Blue Jacket theme, the crest on the uniform would feature a perfect Prince Edward Island potato plant.